#236 Blogs.
White people love blogs. I myself, convinced that I belong to this group of "white people," checked out Stuff White People Like -- the blog -- to ensure that I fit the most authoritative, or at least most extensive, definition I could find.
Turns out, the issue is a very complex one. Already I have to check off #3, film festivals, not that I've been to any, but I love intellectualizing (and watching) films and I would love a career in film criticism. I cannot check off #10, Wes Anderson movies, for I haven't seen any. Shame on me, future film critic, for not being into self-consciously arty films like his. Also, how could I adequately pursue my dream if I subscribe to #28, not having a TV? Without it, I couldn't watch The Daily Show (#35) or best-contemporary-TV-show Arrested Development (#38).
#239 Self-righteous eating.
White people apparently love it: organic food (6), vegan/vegetarianism (32), Whole Foods (48), expensive sandwiches (63). As an avid carnivore, carb-consumer, chocolate hog, and cheap shopper, I think my skin is a bit deceptive on this front.
#244 Fitting in by being different.
Other things that I don't feel fit for me: hating your parents (17), 80s night (29) -- as if anything good came from that decade besides, well, me -- hating corporations (82), and the obsession with "edgy" and "offbeat" The Onion (109). It's a good thing we're the most unique people.
Sorry, just unique, no superlative. See, white people like grammar (99), and more importantly, I love grammar and feel a sense of moral superiority about it. Sometimes they become so enamored that they go to writers workshops (21) and graduate school (81). There they have black (14) and gay (88) friends, vote for Barack Obama (8) and threaten to move to Canada if he loses (75). If I find myself eager to travel (19) while standing still listening to music (67), rest assured the irony (50) is not lost. These are white people limited to a younger age group, remember, rebelling in safe ways against their privileged (but oh so misspent) youth.
#246 Over-analyzing.
#247 Being existential.
#248 Judging other people for over-analyzing and being existential.
I wish this were simple. I drink tea (13) but not coffee (1). I'm not a yoga-lovin' hipster (15) , but I do enjoy those unpaid internships (105), musical comedy (77), and the Sunday New York Times, if only in theory (46).
Maybe I'm not the ideal white person, but I sure have things to contribute to the people. For example:
#256 Self-deprecation.
#260 Ambiguity.
Oh, and also #261 Tacky Christmas lights.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
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5 comments:
Hi! Yeah I did have another blog at one point, but I also have ADD so I forgot about it. I just deleted it after you told me actually, so thanks for the reminder!
And the guy on My Own Worst Enemy is not a schizoid! That show is so stupid!
I think that I probably fit a lot of them. For example, I like Halloween and hummus. I enjoy scarves, but I can't wear them.
A) Wes Anderson and his copycatting ways can blow me. (Though I do guiltily love Royal Tenenbaums in secret--I'm so white!)
B) You CANNOT watch Arrested Development on TV. That is, without a DVD player. Why? Because every good show ever gets canceled.
C) How like white people to claim self-deprecation as their own.
D) you just reminded me of a legitimately awesome movie i saw the other day (as I was stuffing my face with an organic vegan sandwich that cost $15)... you shall have to check my blog now. That's right. My white-ass blog.
Oh my god. And I just noticed your title. Way to go. Zora just died again.
Without a TV, how could I watch DVDs?
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