Because my parents watched games every Sunday afternoon of my upbringing, while I would read Animorphs in the other room, I rebelled by disliking sports. Not a good enough reason? Let's time travel further back.
Most artsy people I know were raised on piano lessons, but my Virginia home has never in 21 years entertained that instrument. I was signed up (involuntarily, I'm pretty sure) for gymnastics and tee-ball. To review my qualifications: I was inflexible and afraid of the ball coming toward me. There were few consequences to hardcore sucking: I never went more than halfway up the climbing rope, but got to jump in the foam pit regardless. When I missed the pitcher's ball, the tee was pulled out like a baseball mulligan.
Going to games, I soon learned, was better than watching them on TV. No instant replays, no commercial breaks--and overpriced cotton candy. But I wasn't destined to be a sports person. If I'd known my six-foot stature, I could have tried basketball. Or tennis--a sport without a team.
My mom would ask, when I practiced violin, how I knew the notes. Strange to think that reading music, second-nature by now, isn't a universal skill. But that's how I approached football for years, an alien in a rowdy land: What's an onside kick? Holding? Why did they just run that two-point conversion?
There's something about growing up that whittles away barriers. School pride comes into play; William and Mary had great football and basketball seasons, at last. It's also choosing the Super Bowl winner 5 out of 7 times. (In other words, every game the Colts are not in. Work with me, Peyton!) Or scarfing snacks during commercials, not game play. Though my inner nerd had its day, too--paystobecurious.com misspelled "rhymes" during airtime, and I aurally admonished them. The corrected version from their site:
(Answer: curple (horse hindquarters) and hirple (to limp). Hope no Colts hirpled off with purple curples.)
5 comments:
Oh no, FOOTBALL, Josh. NO not you. I only watch football by association. Come home and go out with me instead of watching football. Artsy always wins over sports. Though the gym is an IMPORTANT place :)
Haha, I did the tee-ball thing when I was teeny. I remember crying when the coach told me to go to shortstop... I didn't know where it was.
chili con queso & animorphs makes or made football america tolerable.. i wonder why no one likes rugby..
it's sort of like football, wo/ the safety gear, has much more chagrin, & brain damage is not a deciding factor in the match.
I only have the energy to commit to the Hokies (and trust me, it can be an abusive relationship...kind of like when they threw away the entire season on a GA Tech loss this past year). Pro ball just doesn't make sense...why would I want to root for the city of Washington, DC? Especially when their team name is racist (How would the public feel about naming them the Washington Jews?).
I don't know, Suzanne! I do not root for the Redskins, but my whole family does.
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