The Razzie Hunter (Where's The Tourist?)

Yawn. Ten nominees for Best Picture, and at least nine of the ten films are already locks. Mark my words, this week's noms will hold few surprises. What to look forward to instead?

THE 31ST ANNUAL RAZZIE AWARDS (with MY predictions)

WORST PICTURE
The Bounty Hunter
The Last Airbender
Sex and the City 2
Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Vampires Suck

Of all these films, Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler should be the most ashamed. We knew what to expect from the rest. And why is The Bounty Hunter always on my Netflix home page? Shockingly, it's the highest rated of these five on IMDB (with a lustrous 5.2).

WORST ACTOR
Jack Black, Gulliver's Travels
Gerard Butler, The Bounty Hunter
Ashton Kutcher, Killers and Valentine's Day
Taylor Lautner, Eclipse and Valentine's Day
Robert Pattinson, Eclipse and Remember Me

Hard to blame Valentine's Day or Eclipse on one single actor. But don't you get the feeling Ashton has Punk'd us once too often? This could be an award for career lowbrow acting (a.k.a. Where did your That 70's Show potential go?).

WORST ACTRESS
Jennifer Aniston, The Bounty Hunter and The Switch
Miley Cyrus, The Last Song
The Four "Gal Pals", Sex and the City 2
Megan Fox, Jonah Hex
Kristen Stewart, Eclipse

Megan Fox could win for her Mickey Rourke tattoo. But I'm giving it to the veterans. Ladies, do you need a new swimming pool? A third house in Maui?

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Billy Ray Cyrus, The Spy Next Door
George Lopez, Marmaduke, The Spy Next Door, and Valentine's Day
Dev Patel, The Last Airbender
Jackson Rathbone, The Last Airbender and Eclipse
Rob Schneider, Grown Ups

Rob Schneider fills me with a rare hatred. He's long overdue; his last (well-deserved) win was in 2005.

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Jessica Alba, The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete, and Valentine's Day
Cher, Burlesque
Liza Minnelli, Sex and the City 2
Nicola Peltz, The Last Airbender
Barbra Streisand, Little Fockers

It's seventies pop diva reunion night at the Razzies. Alas, Cher, Liza, and Barbra, Ms. Alba has earned this one for quantity alone.

WORST DIRECTOR
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Vampires Suck
Michael Patrick King, Sex and the City 2
M. Night Shyamalan, The Last Airbender
David Slade, Eclipse
Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables

Stallone is the most honored Worst Actor at the Razzies, so he could sweep this category. But don't underestimate the soul-drenching power of the "Shyamalan groan."

WORST SCREENPLAY
The Last Airbender
Little Fockers
Sex and the City 2
Eclipse
Vampires Suck

So many sequels and adaptations. If Robert De Niro, Blythe Danner, Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand, and even Ben Stiller wanted a surefire hit, couldn't they work with Judd Apatow or Pixar?

Dear readers, I am proud to say I haven't seen a single movie nominated for a Razzie this year. All in all, this list is repetitive, with little anticipation like last year's Sandra Bullock speech. And Brendan Fraser was totally snubbed!