Give 'em the old Razzie dazzle

Awards season has reached its apex. Over the inevitable furor of The Blind Side blind-siding more worthy films for Best Picture, you may have missed what's vying for Worst. I bring you faithful readers my Second Annual Razzie Predictions.

THE 30TH ANNUAL RAZZIE AWARDS

WORST PICTURE

All About Steve

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Land of the Lost

Old Dogs

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Should I go with the mainstream choice (Transformers Dos, which raked in over $800 million) or something more indie? All About Steve has the lowest IMDB rating: 4.9. But bigger is definitely better at the Razzies. The higher you climb, the harder you fall.

WORST ACTOR

All Three Jonas Brothers (Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience)

Will Ferrell (Land of the Lost)

Steve Martin (Pink Panther 2)

Eddie Murphy (Imagine That)

John Travolta (Old Dogs)

Lopping the Jonas Brothers in with four comedians who should know better seems unfair. Robin Williams should hold the fifth spot for Old Dogs. Murphy recently won for Norbit; Travolta will get his shot below. I say Ferrell deserves a win: everything else about his film lost (money, respect, their minds).

WORST ACTRESS

Beyonce (Obsessed)

Sandra Bullock (All About Steve)

Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana: The Movie)

Megan Fox (Jennifer's Body and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen)

Sarah Jessica Parker (Did You Hear about the Morgans?)

You know the Razzies want to award Bullock the year she's front-runner for an Oscar.

The Best of the Worst continues after the jump!

WORST REMAKE, RIP-OFF OR SEQUEL

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Land of the Lost

Pink Panther 2 (A Rip-off of a Sequel to a Remake)

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Twilight Saga: New Moon

The only one derived from a quality franchise starring comic genius Peter Sellers.

WORST DIRECTOR

Michael Bay (Trannies, Too)

Walt Becker (Old Dogs)

Brad Silberling (Land of the Lost)

Stephen Sommers (G.I. Joe)

Phil Traill (All About Steve)

Bay's resume: The Rock. Pearl Harbor. Transformers II. The Island. His first music video starred Donny Osmond.

WORST SCREENPLAY

All About Steve (Kim Barker)

"I will eat you like a mountain lion."

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Stuart Beattie, David Elliot, Paul Lovett)

"General, it was our team that got wasted out there. We deserve payback."

"You don't ask to be part of G.I. Joe. You get asked."

Land of the Lost (Chris Henchy, Dennis McNicholas)

"If you don't make it, it's your own damn 'vault.' That's a bitch slap of truth right there."

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman)

"I am not some alien ambassador, you know? I'm a normal kid with normal problems."

"Sam, fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing."

"You're Optimus Prime. You don't need me."

"We do. More than you know..."

Twilight Saga: New Moon (Melissa Rosenberg)

"But the absence of him is everywhere I look. It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. But in a way I'm glad. The pain was the only reminder that he was real."

And now for the Big Three...

WORST PICTURE OF THE DECADE (2000-2009)

Battlefield Earth (2000)

Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

Gigli (2003)

I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

Swept Away (2002)

John Travolta: "I have a special affection for this book. Hubbard was a great writer, and I had... a fantasy in my mind that lasted for years." Rotten Tomatoes: 2%.

WORST ACTOR OF THE DECADE

Ben Affleck (Gigli, Pearl Harbor)

Eddie Murphy (Imagine That, Norbit)

Mike Myers (Cat in the Hat, The Love Guru)

Rob Schneider (Deuce Bigalo II, The Hot Chick)

John Travolta (Battlefield Earth, Old Dogs)

Has done nothing for the good of film or humankind.

WORST ACTRESS OF THE DECADE

Mariah Carey (Glitter)

Paris Hilton (The Hottie and the Nottie, House of Whacks)

Lindsay Lohan (I Know Who Killed Me, all those Disney movies)

Jennifer Lopez (Gigli, Monster-in-Law)

Madonna (Swept Away, Die Another Day)

Two-way tie for "actress" (a generous word here)! Hilton is massacring the screen in 2010 witha cop movie starring Will Ferrell and The Rock, while Lohan will play "an over-achieving science scholar." Next year's already got tough Razzie competition.