Frankly, if I had a lover who filled my simple living space with twelve partridges and the requisite pear trees to go with them, I don't know if there'd even be room for the rest of the menagerie. And when we get to the eighth day, which should fall on New Year's, I find people stuffed in my stocking. Lords and ladies and, heaven help us, a fife and drum corp. My lover neglected to buy cattle, though; just what will those maids (five days' worth means 40 of them) be milking?
If we think about this logically, the song does say that "On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree." Ergo, my multiplication is correct. By the twelfth day, which coincides not-so-coincidentally with Twelfth Night, I will have unwrapped 364 presents. My true love has, in fact, purchased a present for almost every day of the year. Maybe I'm enamored with the Mad Hatter, who chooses to celebrate unbirthdays.
Ignore my previous thought. How can we think about this logically? I wonder if there's a coded meaning, wherein Jesus plays the partridge and his manger the fruit tree. Mary and Joseph may have been lovey-dovey, though celibate. I'm thrown when we reach the wise men -- are they from the Oriental Quarter of France?
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John are worthy candidates for calling birds, for they sounded the gospel far and wide. When I get to twelve drummers drumming, I'm tempted to use the apostles, but am I allowed to overlap? And five gold(en) rings (depending on which lyrics you sing)? Jesus received gold, to be sure, but also frankincense and myrrh, which are both sweet-smelling resins used for incense.
Unlike Jesus' humble gifts, mine aren't likely to have a pleasant fragrance. Thanks, love, for the swans, but I've heard they bite. We can only conjecture at the meaning behind the gifts, and even then we go astray: I just read that "four collybirds" (similar to blackbirds) were the original gifts for day four. That's what the British used to give; our American sensibilities corrupted the collybirds so that Verizon could have more product placement.
Next year, my true love, may I submit "My Favorite Things" for my Christmas list? Those blasted geese return "with the moon on their wings," and I am allergic to kittens with or without whiskers. But think of the food: schnitzel with noodles and crisp apple strudel. Then again, people cook partridge, right?
3 comments:
I'm very impressed that you worked through all the math after all. You have so much more patience than I have.
So I was right about myrrh being an incense?! Yay, I'm not crazy!
Joshwah! Thanks for reading my story! Honestly I think the colors are more of a response to his moods, but I really like the idea that they emanate from them, so maybe I'll be super enigmatic and say it's both. Hehe
Ooh! And I finished Clockwork Orange! I think the 21st chapter is really necessary, but if you leave it out the book is a lot creepier in a way. Still, there's plenty to be disturbed about in the real last chapter.
There was also an intro by Anthony Burgess. All I learned from it was this: Anthony Burgess was an asshole, and publishers are mean. Be a nice one, Joshwah!
It never occurred to me that "The Twelve Days of Christmas" has such religious undertones. I genuinely thought it was about presents...
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