You're Into the Rhyme Slip (and nothing can ever be the same...)

Into the Words: Part II

I take rhyming very seriously. Pop music, on the whole, doesn't. You can say, that's just the style; there's no crime against the slant rhyme. Somewhere along the line, though, our culture got lazier. I don't think rhyming is a microcosm of anything, and I'm not going to intuit here that we are a certain way and wax nostalgic for the good ol' days that are long gone.

Before you raise objections, I will provide evidence to counter what I'm berating: the decline of rhyme (does that slant rhyme make anyone else uncomfortable?). Think about that old adage, "a wrinkle in time saves nine." There's a wrinkle in that line: time does not rhyme with nine. You can't argue for it. In order to find a rhyme, look at the stressed syllable (here, the whole word). The vowel should be the same, true of time and nine. But everything after that stressed vowel--including the consonants--must also match. We aren't in Hawaii, folks; we have 26 letters, and we need to differentiate between them.

So rhymes haven't always been sublime (not as egregious... but from s to no s, as if we didn't notice?). I stand by my point that pop music is a willing, gleeful offender.

Coldplay, "Lost"
Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I'm across

Chris Martin starts with your basic ABCB. Except B and B are a little off. Then again, he doesn't really pronounce all those consonants... so we can assume the t in lost is silent?

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserved
No better and no worse

Okay, now I'm stuck on the rhyme scheme. I guess hurt and worse should correspond, but deserved also has that ur sound in the middle. ABBB (with different B's)?

You might be a big fish in a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one

The vowel in pond is slightly different than the rest, but with Chris Martin's diction, anything is possible. Is he going for ABAB, ABCB, or just plain AAAA? (Which sounds like a super-small battery.) Another note: won sounds the same as one. Homophones cannot rhyme; it's called reflection, and it's a good technique when intentional.

I know Coldplay has some understanding of the art of rhyme. Their first album lyric, remember, was "Bones sinking like stones." All requirements for solid (internal) rhyme met.

R.E.M. also employs good rhyme ("You stumble on glass top table / TVs chewing shock gone cable / Pump me up a beanstalk fable") in their song "Hollow Man," from Accelerate. Five points for trying hard in "Living Well is the Best Revenge" and getting close: "All you sad and lost apostles / Hum my name and flare their nostrils." (That might slide completely if you argue it as a double rhyme. Apos = nos; tles = trils.) But then, there are other gems:

Mr. Richards, you're forgiven / For a narrow lack of vision

The public's got opinions / And these consequences border on...

Taking the final syllable (incorrectly) as the only similarity between two phrases does not come close to rhyme. Rhyming is passe, you say, we all say. Fine--don't use it! Write your lyrics in blank or free verse. Inconsistent slant rhymes and assonance do not please my ears. Vampire Weekend doesn't care about the "Oxford Comma"? Good for them--but after they saw a well-rhymed English drama, why move on to climb "Dharamsala"? If you're going all language anarchy on us, then c'mon, commit! Forgive my condescension--but only rhyme if it's your intention.*

*Stressed syllables cen and ten. All sounds after the vowel same; the consonant before different. How it's done, guys.