Ten Easy Steps to Creating Your Own Irish Town
1. The first rule of Ireland is Guinness.
2. The second rule of Ireland is [insert inferior, but still drinkable, alcohol here].
3. Erect a twelfth-century church. Seriously, you have no game if you don't have an old church.
4. Three liters of dark, foreboding clouds. Sprinkle with heavy rain for two minutes, followed by 30 seconds of sunshine. Repeat. Shroud with mist indefinitely.
5. Buy a real old castle with a stone tourists can kiss. Be sure to include the requisite ten-Euro photography, and the gingivitis.
6. Saturate with Celtic crosses, graveyards, monasteries without roofs. Did I mention the mist?
7. Raise sheep, cast them beyond the perimeter of your farmlands, and dye them blue. Don't worry, they won't eat all those yellow plants on the countryside.
8. Take pride in your Irish language. The lilting cadences... the great writers (first editions of Dracula and Ulysses below!)... and other things...
9. Take Pulp Fiction to heart. Toss that American measurement out the window (except for the pint!). It's better than a foot massage.
10. Make sure there's an off-duty leprechaun at the end of the rainbow (and in Dublin's Temple Bar).
Or, if that fails, Charlie Chaplin. I hear he's always after yer Lucky Charms.
1 comment:
Thanks for the tips. I will now spend my summer working on making my own Irish town, perhaps in my back yard.
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