"I don't have anybody to thank."

The 2010 Golden Globes opened in rain and ended with James Cameron saying he no longer needed to urinate. So goes the cycle of movie awards season. Last night's Globes ceremony repeatedly, emphatically pointed out how superfluous the whole shendig can be. First piece of evidence: Robert Downey Jr. was nominated for being Robert Downey Jr. Second piece of evidence: Robert Downey Jr. won. (They will carve something like Sherlock Holmes* on his trophy, but it's really more of a career retrospective. A welcome back into the fold.)

But his undeserved win was almost justified by a witty acceptance speech that took down everybody else's gratuitous shoutouts: "They needed me. Avatar was going to take us to the cleaners. If they didn't have me, they didn't have a shot, buddy." Michael Stuhlbarg still should have won for a turn both desperate and good-humored in A Serious Man. But he's a theater actor, and long-overdue Hollywood veterans get dibs on these things.

At least Stuhlbarg was noticed. A Serious Man, judging by his nomination, was eligible as a comedy. Tough category, I suppose: how could a modest Coen brothers film best masterworks like It's Complicated**, Julie & Julia, and Nine?

Beyond the deserving Mad Men and Alec Baldwin, the TV awards shook things up. Great to see Michael C. Hall (Dexter) and Chloe Sevigny (Big Love) finally recognized. John Lithgow's creepy turn on Dexter slashed Jeremy Piven's reign. Tina Fey, always wonderful but feted many nights already, was allowed to sit back and swill champagne while Toni Collette and Glee swept in. I'm sure she didn't take the awards seriously. Nobody else did.


*Sherlock Holmes in brief: Jude Law's swell. Guy Ritchie values intellect only if it's visceral. He casts Rachel McAdams (comely, banal) so we don't confuse Law and Downey's kinship for something more. He's a man's man, my dear Watson... but not like that.

**It's Complicated in brief: How novel: a rom-com with two equally matched contenders! Will Meryl Streep choose gleeful Alec Baldwin or gentle Steve Martin? Crackerjack cast (especially John Krasinski) makes most of Nancy Meyers' character sketches, plus her home decor and croissant fetishes.


One more thing: Are the Vulture copyeditors serious today? I quote from their site: "There's an obvious explanation for this: the amazing Rickey Gervais. We'd like to thanks, everyone, for not making us look like idiots." Too late for that, folks.