Which Actor Has the Worst Resume?

You had to know this was coming soon after my "Best Resume" post. While researching that one, I stumbled across numerous actors with less-than-stellar IMDB profiles. Oh, right, I thought, I'd forgotten how many icebergs they hit along the way. But sometimes, the movie-going public also forgets that an actor they love is notorious for poor choices.

The purpose of this assessment was not to rail against wickedly easy targets. Rob Schneider may be the least redeemable "actor" in California, but I don't want to expend more than a sentence on his deliberate mass-appeal mediocrity. Ditto nottie-so-hottie Paris Hilton and I-know-who-doped-me-up Lindsay Lohan.

I have long marveled at the stunning career path of Brendan Fraser. Here is a sturdy, regular actor; a respectable, not indulgent amount of humor; good frame and mildly rugged face. If all my compliments sound half-handed, think long and hard: When have we seen Brendan Fraser at the peak of his powers?

Last fall, my roommate and other friends kept bringing up Encino Man. Fraser's first major role in a film, and as a caveman no less: How could it not be funny? As if by fate, the movie played on TBS that night, and I found Reason #37 why I no longer subscribe to digital cable. (Though I will be fair; what else did the early '90s produce besides Hannibal Lecter and poor hair choices?)

Take any parts you can early on, proverbial wisdom suggests. So when did Fraser outgrow this trend? After a slew of misses like Twenty Bucks, Younger and Younger, Airheads, The Scout, The Passion of Darkly Noon, Mrs. Winterbourne, and a tacky Disney redo of George of the Jungle? When he followed up the overblown The Mummy with The Mummy Returns and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor?

The Mummy franchise still has not died, nor apparently its eponymous spectre of the Sphinx. So Fraser hasn't, either; no need to worry about tomorrow's mortgage payment. But the aughts did little for his integrity. After Journey to the Center of the Earth and its abhorrent CGI, The Mummy seems close to Casablanca. You'd think he would have stayed home when Journey to the End of the Night didn't work out. Over the years, he has continually received the short end of the lollipop: Dudley Do-Right (the IMDB nadir, at 3.6), Monkeybone, the Lifetime-leaning Extraordinary Measures, and the animal caper Furry Vengeance, so awful-looking even Eddie Murphy and The Rock would turn it down.

He has a few redemptive films amid the dreck: Gods and Monsters and The Quiet American. But despite his middle-class racist turn in Crash, that 2004 Best Picture winner will be remembered for Jack Nicholson's scowl of surprise when he opened the envelope. On the plus side, Fraser owns the leftmost toe of a SAG Award for Best Ensemble for the six-degrees-of-racism story.

For an actor who has stayed on the radar, confidently B-list all these years, I find it surprising how few acknowledge his un-illustrious career. Maybe his next big Hollywood venture will help. What's that, IMDB? "Untitled Journey to the Center of the Earth Sequel"?