But if you are part of this new eco-friendly
unplug-your-fridge movement,
The milk will be spoiled.
If the milk is spoiled,
The mouse will die.
If the mouse dies,
Future mice won't wheedle into your pantry
and rob you of cookies.
If you don't have to worry about wasting money on
mouse-eaten cookies, or an exterminator,
You'll be able to replenish your food supply daily.
If you go to the grocery store every day,
You might make poor decisions and buy the sample items
because they're so yummy.
If you buy too much food and worry it will spoil,
You're bound to gain tons of weight.
If you become a couch potato,
You'll grow too lazy to buy food daily.
If you stop eating so much food,
You'll probably develop an eating disorder.
If you have to see doctors to solve this problem,
Word will get out that you unplugged your fridge,
and the New York Times will write an article
If you're suddenly pseudo-famous,
You'll want to be more famous.
If you want to be more famous,
You'll want to be more wealthy.
If you achieve the topmost tax bracket,
You're going to spend your wealth.
If you buy what money can buy,
You're going to hire someone to buy you
fresh milk everyday.
If you have fresh milk,
You're going to have mice who just ate cookies.
If you kill the mice invading your home,
Isn't that worse for the environment than using a fridge?
2 comments:
Oh Josh, you are so silly. But wouldn't the dead mice being worse for the environment come in at the beginning?
hahaha. Epic.
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