An apostrophe to Food, O Glorious Food

I'm about to break out my new George Foreman grill, and I started thinking how wonderful Christmas was. Not just because relatives gave me nice things like George Foreman grills; I'm saluting the food. See, you journey home for three weeks, and you don't have to cook meals (though I did make one dinner) or go grocery shopping. What's better is that my mom can cook up some culinary nirvana.

In August, I bemoaned that she only makes meatloaf in the winter; "you don't make that in the summer." But the week before we U-Hauled up to Boston, there was meatloaf waiting for me on the kitchen table. Yes, it's Only Child Syndrome with its most positive side effects. This isn't your grandmother's meatloaf, kids, unless your grandma knew how it was done; mostly turkey and oats mixed in, with stewed tomatoes dribbling down in lieu of gravy.

My metabolism doesn't think I eat enough, even though I try to stuff in heaps of food. Being home over break, I could drink four Cokes a day, scarf down leftovers for mid-afternoon snack (we'll call it tea), and finish it off with fried ice cream, which now comes in cartons of honey-cinnamon goodness. Now that I'm back in Boston, the debit card intimidates me. I have a food budget per week, and the ice cream doesn't always make the cut. The only leftovers we had was Chinese food from Saturday, but I already devoured my dish, amusingly called strange flavored chicken. Tasted like indulgence to moi.

Cooking for one -- not always so simple. The George Foreman grill and the microwave, plugged into the same surge protector, just had a battle that both lost. After resetting the power twice, it occurred to me that the grill is like a tractor trailer on the highway: don't compete, just clear the way.

Of course, even the most elaborate family meals can go awry. For Christmas this year, we went to my cousin's house as usual, opened presents as usual, and then grabbed our plates for a feast to make carnivores proud. We dined on beef tenderloin, Korean-style thin-sliced beef, turkey (because Christmas is really second Thanksgiving), and salted country ham. Our sides were scalloped potatoes, the epitome of health food; rolls, with butter provided for extra nutrition; and, the real kicker, our only vegetable of collard greens with ham chunks on top. Jesus would have been proud. We consumed all the animals in the inn. Speaking of carnivorous habits, I think my hamburger is fully cooked (and I go medium well; none of that "rare" stuff). Good eats, all!