Hungarian Goulash
Ingredients:
Patience
Half-cocked ignorance
1. Heat oil in Dutch oven. Unwrap beef chuck, already cubed, with haste. Ravage styrofoam container and mangle plastic in effort to remove beef from its biodegradable prison.
2. Fling half of quality meat, mercifully on sale last Saturday, into crevice between oven and counter. Remove cubes of meat from valley of disease and decay with broomstick. Note blue chemicals that seem to dwell in the nooks and crannies of your kitchen.
3. Think: What would Martin Luther King, Jr. do? (also query Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee, formerly celebrated today in Virginia). Wasn't his message to accept all people, no matter how tarnished or trodden upon?
4. Differentiate between cows and people. Chuck the chuck. Let the loss simmer for 1 hour, 30 minutes.
5. Boil rotini. Puzzle over why 9-10 minutes spawns firm noodles, and 10-11 minutes tender, and what results at 10 minutes even.
6. Savor half-recipe of goulash over rotini. Feel pride of cooking tinged with inward despair that there will be seconds but not thirds or fourths.
Monday, January 19, 2009
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2 comments:
Hahahaha oh Josh, you would write an entry like this. :)
I don't like to make food that has more than two ingredients. Do that. Or come cook for me.
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